JC HUTCHINS – PERSONAL EFFECTS: DARK ART – AUDIO PROMO

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

I’ve wanted to speak about this for a while now but just haven’t had the time. Now, the novel is done – resting in a drawer where it will sit for a while until it’s time for editing – so let’s talk about being a podcast novelist, shall we?

More specifically – if you want to get published – why you shouldn’t start off podcasting your novel.

“But James,” you say, “You got a 3-book deal from podcasting your novel. Why shouldn’t I start by podcasting mine?”

Let me tell you something that I have no shame in admitting:

I got lucky!

Somewhere, someone was sprinkling some fairy dust and it just happened to blow up my ass and low and behold, here I am. About to be a published author.

I am the exception to the rule!

If you’ve written a book and made it the best damn novel it can possibly be, then for the love of all things good and unholy, go try and get yourself a traditional publishing deal. Send out queries, try and find an agent and get them to see if your book is saleable and please, give it some time. Don’t say after a month or two, “Well that didn’t work, guess I’ll go start a podcast now.”

Publishing is a slow moving business. The wheels turn and turn but never seem to get anywhere, especially if you’re waiting for a response from someone. Mind you, with the advent of email and the internet, wait times are generally a lot shorter then they were 15 years ago.

But you still have to wait.

So you’ve done all this and maybe after a year of having no hits you have to ask yourself something.

“Is my book really that good?”

Maybe it is and maybe it isn’t. If 10 people who are not your close friends tell you that it is, then chances are, yes it is good. Just because you didn’t get an agent out of your many queries doesn’t necessarily mean the book is bad. There could be a number of factors as to why it didn’t happen. Maybe you wrote a horror and sent it to a romance agent because you didn’t do any research on the markets. Maybe the agent just had too many clients or maybe the agent in question just didn’t recognize the potential of your book (J.K. Rowling, anyone?)

Ok, so your book is good but you didn’t get an agent after a year or so. Maybe it might be time to try podcasting it, to see what others think and to try and build a nice, web-based fan following. There’s another question you have to ask yourself though:

“Why am I podcasting my novel?”

Are you doing it just for fun or are you doing it in the hopes of getting a traditional publishing deal?

Let me tell you something, if you’re doing it in the hopes of getting a deal and have delusions of grandeur, you might be a little disappointed.

There are a handful of podcast novelists who have gotten book deals from podcasting their novels. And when I say handful, I mean handful. Scott Sigler, Seth Harwood, Mur Lafferty, Matt Selznick and Matt Wallace. Did I miss anyone?

The point is, there are over 300 podcast novelists out there and FIVE have gotten traditional publishing deals with maybe 4 or 5 others (myself included) on the way. As far as I know, of those 5, ALL of them went the way of trying to find an agent before podcasting their novels.

If you think that podcasting is the answer to a quick and easy traditional publishing deal, get your head out of the clouds. Please.

That’s not to say I don’t want you to podcast your novel. By all means, go ahead. I love a good story. Just know why and for what purpose you are getting into first.

Podcasting is fun, it can be a great marketing tool and help you to build a large fan base that might eventually attract the attention of a publisihg house, big or small. Believe it or not though, it is not the answer to your publishing woes.

The answer is hard work, persistence, constant refining of your craft and yes, even a little fairy dust blown up your ass from time to time.

Now go, send out queries, pay your dues and continue to write your stories. Be confident, be persistent and be fearless.

Remember, I am the exception and not the rule!

Do as I say, not as I do.

Friday the 13th or ‘Why Platinum Dunes Needs to Stop Right now.’ – A Review

With all the gore seen in recent years with movies like SAW and HOSTEL, making the kids of today desensitized to everything good and Holy, I will say this about Platinum Dunes and their remakes of classic horror flicks:

They are giving the youth of today a chance to experience something they may not have given a second thought to.

When I look back on the original Friday the 13th or Texas Chainsaw Massacre or Nightmare on Elm Street, they pale in comparison to the gore-fests of today, which the younger crowd seems to go for. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good gore flick just as much as the next 30-something, but it’s not what I look for in a ‘good’ horror movie. The PD remakes draw in this younger generation and introduce them to the characters I so loved growing up. Jason Voorhees, Leatherface and of course, Freddy.

So kudos to Platinum Dunes for showing kids how it used to be done and maybe making them go back and watch the originals.

However, what Platinum Dunes doesn’t do very well in its attempt to draw in a younger generation, is please those of us who grew up on these movies.

Case in point:

Friday the 13th, the Reboot – as some are calling it.

I was looking forward to this, I really was. I stayed away from all the websites. Avoided spoilers or teaser trailers/images as best I could because frankly, I wanted to be surprised. So I kept an open mind and as the theater lights dimmed I thought, “This is going to be great.”

Boy, was I wrong.

I mean, I got what I expected pretty much. A bunch of young people going in to the woods to have sex and party it up and then getting offed one by one by Jason. Pretty much you’re standard Friday flick. This ‘remake’ blended parts 1, 2 & 3 together to tell its story. Well, whatever story there was to tell. Guy goes looking for his missing sister, meets up with a bunch of other kids and together they face the evil, hockey-masked serial killer. Oh what, did I spoil it for you?

Please!

If you go into this film looking for something else, you’re not going to get it. It’s Friday the 13th for crying out loud. What did you expect?

I know what I expected. I expected fresh new kills, smarter dialogue and I expected a Jason Voorhees that was bad ass. Instead I got kills that were mediocre at best, dialogue that made me cringe and a Jason Voorhees that could…wait for it…run!

Yes, I said run.

Let me break it down for you.

In the original movies, JV did not run. He stalked his victims, coming at them slowly with machete in hand which to me, made him more menacing than all the other 80’s horror villains. He scared you, made you wait for the inevitable. Made you wait for your death.

In this version, there is none of that. Jason pounces on his victims like a fat man on a cheeseburger, disposing of them quickly and with no originality. What’s more blasphemous is that Jason Voorhees is aware. He knows who he is, knows what he is doing and that my friends, takes every single ounce of mystique out of the character. It makes him more human, more vulnerable. What it does is it makes him just another guy in a hockey mask going around killing people.

That’s not what my Jason is all about.

Director Marcus Nispel and Director of Photography Daniel Pearl did manage to create some great atmosphere, ala Texas Chainsaw Massacre (which by the way, I LOVED). The two teamed up again for this one and I don’t know how much of a hand Michael Bay had but I’m guessing he was all over it which, probably ruined the film. Why? Because he doesn’t care about bringing these classic characters back to the big screen to appease an already established fan base. No, he brings them back to cash in on the disposable income of today’s generation.

Hollywood is after all a business.

Maybe I’m being too harsh here but honestly, I expected more out of this film. I mean, it really does know what it is and makes no apologies for that. You got kids drinking and doing drugs, some titties (and what would a Friday movie be without some titties) and a maniac killer. It’s not any more complicated than that.

I guess I just wanted to see my good old friend Jason but what I got was some hybrid. A guy in a mask killing people. No horror, no mystique. Just killing for the sake of killing.

In short, if you’re young, go see this flick and then go back and watch parts 1-3 and see what I mean regarding Jason. If you’re like me and grew up on these movies, you probably will be left out in the cold.

RATING:

2 severed limbs out of 5

The February Writing Challenge – Day 12

1000 words a day for 28 days. NO MATTER WHAT!

Today was interesting. I had a WHOLE bunch of stuff that I wanted to get done today but only did one. Well, 2 if you count the 1000 words I wrote tonight. 3 if you count this blog.

This morning I recorded/edited/mixed and posted Episode 15 of The Zombie Chronicles. That took about 4 hours of my time (I’m getting faster). Then I wanted to dive right in and get to work on the novel of TZC but alas, the last 6 days of working nights caught up with me. I took a nap. A 4-hour nap. There went my day…

I did get up though, eat some eggs and bang out my 1000 words for the FWC. Why? So I could post it on Twitter.

Ah, Twitter.

I want to take a second and personally thank @egtalbot for keeping up with the rah-rah-rah spirit of the FWC these past couple of days. I’ve been working my butt off at my day job and haven’t been around there too much, which I feel I should be, since I’m the guy that started this whole FWC thing in the first place. Anyway, EG has been great at congratulating people on their word counts, pushing people to go on when they’re right near the finish line and he’s just an all around nice guy.

In case you’re wondering, EG Talbot is the author of New World Orders and is in fact the pen name for a writing team.

He’s a hell of a guy.

Anyway, the Leaf game is on, I got a cold beer in front of me and since it’s late, I’m going to sign off and go have some fun.

Keep up the great work people. Perhaps I will have some inspirational words of wisdom for you tomorrow.

The February Writing Challenge – Day 11

1000 words a day for 28 days. NO MATTER WHAT!

This morning was a productive one. I’m not going to talk for long about any one thing today. There will be no motivational cries because, well, I’m tired.

I’m allowed to be tired, right?

I got up and recorded a presentation I was asked to do for the Splatcademy Awards taking place on February 25. I’m presenting the award for Best Screenplay, Original or Adapted, so I had whip up something quick because they were due *gasp* today! Oh man, don’t even get me started on deadlines, that’s an etire post all its own. Maybe tomorrow. Oh wait, I have Episode 15 of TZC to record tomorrow. YIKES!

Anyway, after recording my presentation, editing it and mixing it down I was going to go back to bed and do my 1k on the go today, but I thought, “Yeah right, if I don’t do it now it’ll never get done.” So I fired up Open Office and got to it.

For the past 3 days I was working on a short story that I was asked to write for an upcoming Anthology so today, it felt nice to get back to my familiar characters in The Zombie Chronicles. I mean, I’ve been with them for more than 5 months now so we’re like pals. I kind of miss them when they’re not around.

Needless to say, the 1000 words came fast and furious because they had been dying to get out again and I, was dying to let them out.

Anyway, I guess that’s it for now gang. Sorry I couldn’t put more hutzbah behind this one today but I need to try and get some more Z’s before work.

I got my 1000 words done though.

No matter what!

The February Writing Challenge – Day 10

1000 words a day for 28 days. NO MATTER WHAT!

Ugh, it was another 4am morning for me gang. I tried to go to bed earlier, really I did. Then I heard about the White Bentley so I had to see what all the fuss was about, watching it streaming live on the net. After that fiasco a cat began meowing right outside my window, so of course my cat had to jump up and see what that was all about. Then he started meowing. It was one big meow-fest in the Melzer household last night.

However, I do have some good news to report. I not only finished my 1k for the day but also completed the first draft of a short story I was asked to write for an upcoming Anthology.

Yay me!

I love that feeling you get when you finish something. It’s as if a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. You’ve struggled to find the words (and put them in the right order), sweat over dialogue attributes and character traits and now – it’s all done.

Pat yourself on the back.

It’s no easy feat, finishing a piece of writing. Be it short story or novel. For me, I constantly doubt myself and my abilities while in the thralls of composition. I curse, I spit and smoke like a convict but yes, I do have fun while writing because I know that when it’s finished I’ll get that feeling.

Like the one I’m having right now.

For now, I will set the story aside for the rest of the week and not even worry about it. It will sit on my hard drive while I go back and finish my novel because I want this feeling again. On a more grand scale.

Because when my novel is finished, I’m getting shitfaced.

Who wants to join me?

Well hurry up then, go finish something.

The February Writing Challenge – Day 9

1000 words a day for 28 days. NO MATTER WHAT.

Got a good nights sleep after work last night. Not before getting all riled up though after reading a blog post that came my way which may or may not have been written to try and discredit my publisher, Permuted Press. I’m still not sure as it really didn’t seem to have a point. Which brings me to today’s topic:

Research.

I hate research. Hate it with the fiery passion of a thousand suns. I avoid it at all costs. It is though, sadly, an intricate part of your writing.

Here’s what I do.

I write my work, ignoring all facts that I might be getting wrong. Names of weapons, military rankings, history, whatever. I don’t worry about it at the time. I just write the first draft for me and me alone, concentrating on the story. I go off an outline that I’ve done up before. Not a long outline, mind you, just a quick summary of plot points, characters and key events that move the story forward.

When the work is done, I set it aside for a bit, decompressing my mind that just spent three months or so working on the same thing. I might go and write something else that’s entirely different from the piece I was just working on or I might go read a novel or I might just sit and do nothing. Staring at the walls in exhaustion.

I then give my work to a select few first readers and then something wonderful happens. They respond to my factual errors, most times correcting them, making things a whole lot easier during the editing process. Since I hate research, I let others do it for me. They’ll not only feel like they’ve helped me out but they’ll also get a sense of pride at correcting a published authors work.

Do I solely rely on others to do my work for me? Absolutely not. During the editing process I do my own fact checking. Using the internet or the local library to find all my errors and correct them on my own. I tie my research in with my editing because while I may hate research, I love editing. If I bring the two together, the research part of it doesn’t seem so painful.

Face it, if you’re writing is set in todays world, the past or even the future, you’re going to have to do research if you want your work to have a realistic feel to it. It’s something that helps your readers to get lost in the story and if you get it wrong, will pull them right out and possibly make them set the book aside.

So if you’re like me and hate research, do what I do and tie it into something you do enjoy. For me it’s editing, for you it might be outlining. Just make sure you don’t leave it hanging by the wayside and don’t rely on others to do it for you.

Oh, and yes, I did hit my 1000 words today.

The February Writing Challenge – Day 8

1000 words a day for 28 days. NO MATTER WHAT.

I worked the same shift I did yesterday but luckily there was no 5am bed time. Instead, I went to bed at 4am. Ha-ha! Jokes on me.

I’ve been asked to write a short story for an upcoming Anthology from Library of the Living Dead press, so that’s what I banged out for a bit this morning. 1000 and some odd words done. The deadline is looming.

I’m going to be honest here. Short stories scare me. Well, writing them. I’ve written a handful of them in my day and none of them very good I’m afraid. I don’t think so anyway. I’m more of a long-fiction kind of guy and have never quite grasped how to tell a story in under 4000 words. I’ve read enough of them though in the last few months that I think I have the structure of them down. So I’m going to tackle this task to the best of my abilities. I’m going to do and not try. There is no try.

I’m going to stretch my limits.

As writers we tend to get complacent in the genre or form of our expertise. I think it’s good to break away from that every once in a while to remind ourselves that there’s more out there than horror or sci-fi or whatever it is you write. There’s more than novels too. There’s short stories, novellas, poems, screenplays, etc.

I write horror and I write it well. That’s not all I’ve dabbled in though. I’ve written dramatic pieces, romantic pieces and comedic pieces. None of them good but all of them an exercise in structure. I wrote these for me, to prove to myself that I could write them, regardless of them ever seeing the light of day. I wrote them for shits-n-giggles but I did write them and that’s the important part.

Writing outside your genre can do a world of good. It can give you a fresh perspective on your own work when you return to it, it can act as a brainstorming activity and it stretches your literary muscles so that when someone asks you to do something you might not otherwise do, you can smile and say, “Yeah, I’ll do that.”

The short story I am writing is horror so that’s familiar ground. The format itself is not. It’s a chance though. A chance to get my name in print and add another notch to my Published belt; a chance to do something I wouldn’t otherwise do.

Ask yourself, “What have I done lately that’s different? What have I done recently that I normally wouldn’t do?”

If the answer is nothing, you might want to try and remedy that. Don’t be afraid to take chances and try something new. You might find that you’re good at it and therefore have opened up a whole new world of possibilities. If not, well the only person that ever has to see it is you, so you got nothing to lose.

The February Writing Challenge – Day 7

1000 words a day for 28 days. NO MATTER WHAT!

It was the no matter what that made me do it this morning gang, honestly. I worked last night until midnight, got home around 1am and of course when I get home I can’t go straight to sleep. I have to relax for a bit, unwind. So I popped in a movie and got to playing on the computer and before I knew it the clock had struck 5. AM that is.

My body chemistry is of the sorts that no matter what time I go to bed, I always wake up early. It’s just who I am. After falling asleep at such an ungodly hour, my eyes snapped open at 9am. Four hours sleep. All I wanted to do was roll over and pass back out but there was something nagging me, something in my brain that kept speaking to me.

No matter what.

It was those three little words that took me from my groggy state, to the kitchen to brew some coffee and eventually to my chair where I fired up Open Office and before I knew it, had written 1203 words. Most of them making sense too!

Today’s blog has no inspirational meaning. I had planned on talking about something but as I watch the clock tick away I think I am going to go and try and get some more sleep before I have to go back to work.

Just know that I am here with all you other FWCers, plugging away doing the best I can. I’m proud of all of you for attempting this on such short notice and for taking it seriousy.

As @MaryRajotte said when this started, “I’m in. Sleep be damned!”

Yes, sleep be damned.

1000 words a day.

For 28 days.

NO MATTER WHAT!

The February Writing Challenge – Day 6

1000 words a day for 28 days. NO MATTER WHAT!

This morning I am entering new territory in the FWC. This is the first day of the challenge that I am working the night shift and therefore won’t be home to do my 1k in the evening. Therefore, since I have finished my 1000 words for the day already, today’s post will be about:

Time Management.

I know, I know. Not the most glamorous subject in the world but it is something that we as writers have to adjust to.

I agree with the majority of people out there who say that it’s good to have a set schedule for your writing. Same bat time, same bat place, everyday. For one, it breeds habit. It’s like going through your evening ritual before going to bed. Not only does it get your teeth clean but because you’ve been doing it for so damn long it also tells your body that it’s time to wind down. It’s sleepy go night night time, as I like to say.

Writing is much the same. If you can have a set schedule every single day for when you sit down and write, it trains the mind to begin thinking creative thoughts beforehand because it knows what’s coming. It’s your time, be it an hour, two hours or even fifteen minutes. You have set aside that time for a purpose and the purpose is to create.

Let’s get back to reality though, shall we.

Most of us writers, like myself, don’t have the luxury of being on a schedule. We have other things going on. For me, I’ve spent the last five days either having the day off work or only working until 5pm. Tonight I work until way after midnight so that throws things a bit off kilter. I have to adjust my writing time to make sure it gets done. Therefore, I woke up early to write. Believe me, I would much rather sleep in but there’s something bigger than me going on right now.

It’s called a novel.

Life will get in the way of your writing. Be it in the form of distractions or your own schedule. Sometimes you have to make adjustments in how and when you write. I write on the subway if I have to, even if the words come out all jiggly and I have a hard time deciphering them later; but I write. That’s the important thing. When it comes to scheduling, if you know a day ahead of time that yours is going to change from one day to the next, then make those necessary adjustments as need be. Wake up an hour earlier or go to bed an hour later. Do whatever you need to do to get those words out because if you’re already in the habit of writing each and every day, you’ll find that if you miss one, you’re apt to be more grumpy the next day if you don’t get the work done.

So make those adjustments, let people know that you’re sitting down to write NOW and not to bother you. Just make sure that you get those words down on paper or on your computer screen. How little or how much is up to you.

Just write.

No matter what!